dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
sarcasm needs its own font
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
