I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Watching her eat just hurts me
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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