btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I would ride that face into the sunset
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
