I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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