he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
