I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
