R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
home. puking in laundry basket.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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