the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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