Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
