what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
