I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
