I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize