I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am naked and annoyed.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
