im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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