I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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