sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
