To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
