Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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