Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
