party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
