This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
