Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
