You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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