As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
