You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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