Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
