how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
