The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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