Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
