GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
