I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
