i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
