we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
