btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We left the knife in your bed.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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