go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize