you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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