Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
