my mouth tastes like poor choices
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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