im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
