his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
