What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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