Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
