i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
