True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She announced her abortion via fbk
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
