On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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