We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
