Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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