I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
