put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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