Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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