what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize