She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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