jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
