I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
