He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I would fuck him just for his dog
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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