So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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