PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
porn star boner night. come get it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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