He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You need Xanax blowdarts
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
