Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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