Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
