I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I supernannyed him into submission
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
